idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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