Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
