Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
