All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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