I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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