haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
His nipple licking is glorious
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