yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
