I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
