Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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