and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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