Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
