Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
