Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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