I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
