I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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