Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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