i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Houston, we have a squirter
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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