I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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