That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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