Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
