So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he was CRYING into my vagina
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
