Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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