upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
