I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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