Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
