everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
