'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
