I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I want her autograph on my taint
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
