was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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