hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
