are you so shy because you have an std?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
