you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
