Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
