apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
