We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
