I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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