walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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