So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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