I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
