she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
