if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
