i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
