My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
