i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
