I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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