I faked an abortion last night.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
