she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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