Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
