My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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