I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
