Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
