my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
