How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
